Walking Again....well sort of

At my 8 week check up, I was given the okay to walk again.  This was twice as long as my last surgery, but the surgeon did so much repair, that this time I had to be non-weight bearing longer.  The first steps were awful and painful just as I remembered, but with each step, I reminded myself that it does get better!  I used a walker, and after a couple of days, I managed to actually pick up my foot with each step.  Showering was still difficult, and I had to still sit down for a while.  I still used my knee walker while shopping for a couple more weeks.  It helped keep me from tiring out the ankle, and gave me a little more freedom to move around.  At the 10 week mark, I had to pack away the knee scooter, because it was too tempting to use.  I instead committed myself to walking as much as I could with the walker.  Dr. said to walk until I felt sharp pain, and then to ice and rest.  I couldn't walk more than 50 steps without it hurting too much.  My foot still turned a blackish purple every time it was down for any length of time.  It also looked like I had a bruise under the ankle where the peroneal tendons lie.  This still comes and goes.  I was able to get out of the boot and into a running shoe with orthotics at the 10 week mark.  I use Sole footbeds, they are amazing, and they customize to your feet with wear, or by heating in your oven.  I was skeptical, but ordered a pair, and I love them.  Amazon had the cheapest price when I purchased mine.  I began physical therapy at 10 weeks also.  It didn't go well at all.  The exercises were none I had ever done before, and the ankle was so bad that I couldn't walk on it again.  Called the doctor, and he said don't do those exercises anymore, and wait until I see him again.    He said to do the exercises I had already learned with the last surgery on the right ankle.  I did those until 12 week checkup.  He was so pleased with my range of motion that he allowed me to continue at home with the exercises.  I am doing range of motion exercises, stretching, stationary bike for 15 minutes, treadmill for 10 mins.  This is helping to rebuild my calf muscle that looked so little and saggy.  All of this hurts, so I have to ice the ankle and massage the calf, and most nights I have to take pain meds just to rest. Still have a lot of pain and tingling.  I am now at the 14 week mark, and most days my ankle feels like it is badly sprained, but I am still doing my physical therapy.   That is the only way that this is going to get better.  I can shower standing up, but at the end of the shower, my entire foot feels like fireants have bitten me.  This will go away with time.  Depression has set in a few times.  It is really hard to keep walking on a foot that hurts so bad.  I don't want to go anywhere, because I walk so slow and with a limp, and did I mention how much it hurts.  I know this will get better, because the right ankle is feeling better after 16 months now.  I am only 3 months out on the left ankle, so I know it will take a while.  I hope this helps all who are out there hurting and wondering if this will ever get better.  It does with time, exercise, and much prayer.  This shows the difference in my calves when I began to walk again.